Today is my birthday! As people get older they often times start to loathe their birthday and view it as a reminder of what comes with aging - wrinkles, aches and pains, cruel old jokes. I have to admit, I am not one of those people! In fact, I have always loved my birthday because it's the one day of the year where I celebrate me!!! Through the course of each day, I am constantly doing for other people and am happy to do so, but admittedly, it's nice to have one day where I make myself a priority and it feels good!
A running joke in my family is that fact that I am exactly 3 days older than Justin. 3 days people. You would think I was Madonna married to my 22 year old back up dancer with the way the jokes roll around here from July 20th to the 23rd. Everybody's a comedian. Strange things occur like doors being opened for me because "Justin always opens doors for his elders." Hilarious. Although I did have to put a heating pad on my shoulder the other night because of a wicked crick in my neck....whatever. Haters, all of em.
Yesterday, there was a moment where I was sad about my birthday. It dawned on me that Avery would be gone for the weekend and there would be no "family celebration." I know, I know, silly right? We would just celebrate on Monday when she got back. So it passed as quickly as she does when she is running for her dessert after dinner.
But today, my heart is full. I am sitting here and I am almost emotional as I think of all the things I have to be thankful for. I walked into my kitchen this morning to a surprise 7am cupcake and coffee party! What a way to start my birthday - with laughter! And presents! And cupcakes!!! My husband is wonderfully sneaky - I feel so celebrated.
The feeling of fullfillment and happiness is not unique to my birthday however, I feel it most days, and a large part of that is a conscience choice I make every day. I have to admit, the emotional side of me has come out with a vengeance over the past year and when I let myself think about all I have, the tears start flowing. I also believe that part of this is age, I am more aware of the fragility of life - especially as it takes me longer and longer to put my feet on the floor each morning!
I think many people would be surprised to know that I feel this way because we have been given a lot of challenges to face. The year I turned 31, we found out about Alex and his tumor, and his eventual brain injury. The year I turned 32, we found out both our mom's have cancer. Here's to hoping that 33 is a bit more low key.
I could choose to have a pity party, oh woe is me! My life is so hard! But is it really? It's all about your point of view. Our challenges with 3 kids are plentiful, but, we make a difference every day in their lives. My job is hard because it takes me away from my family, but, it affords us the best care for Alex and I get to see some beautiful places!
My point is - MAKE A CHOICE! Today, I just might choose another cupcake.
Til next time...M
Many people
Friday, July 20, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
The Greatest Gift...
Well hello friends, welcome to May! It's been yet another month since my last blog post and please dont take that as a sign of dwindling interest in this project of mine. It's really more an indicator of the fact that my life is a blur. Imagine your at the mall, standing in the middle of the food court - on Black Friday. Can you see it? That's my life - chaos. Truth be told, there aren't many places I would rather be! As I type this post, I am sitting at the airport getting ready to board a plane to leave that chaos for the next 3 days and all I am feeling is nostalgia. I really do have it pretty good.
I thought I would give you an update on Mr. Big (aka, Alex). He has really been thriving since we put him in school back in March. He loves his friends at school and even has a little girlfriend, Jordan! If we just say her name around him he puts on the biggest grin you have ever seen and it just melts your heart. I am so happy he is getting to experience the things that typical children experience every day - he even had school pictures taken a few weeks ago and of course, his were perfect (no bias at all from me). :
I told you. One area we are working on is his eye sight; we know his vision has limitations but it's hard to zero in on exactly what the limitations are since he cant tell us what he sees/does not see. Funny story for you. We have been patching his eyes for the past 6 months or so in an effort to straighten our his eyes and improve his vision. Went to the opthamologist last week and while she was pleased with his progress thus far, she feels it's time to try a new strategy.
Glasses. REALLY?!!! Glasses on an 18 month old?!!!! That's what I was screaming on the inside all the while politely smiling and nodding as I listened to the details. It's the path we ultimately chose after carefully weighing our options. Can anyone guess the #1 challenge with glasses on an 18 month old? Metal frames - they just don't work. Despite his physical limitations, Alex is a very active little boy. He is constantly participating in therapy, and, when he's in his special chair, his friends at school LOVE to use him as their own personal jungle gym.
So the glasses lady says we need rubber frames. Awesome - that doesn't make him look delayed AT ALL. She hands me the frames and says, "just put them on him and tell me what you think." He's in my arms so I put them on, turn around to look in the mirror, and !VIOLA!, Harry Potter is staring right back at me.
I immediately burst into tears, but not my sweet Alex. He just looked up at me with that big grin of his and right away, HE reassured ME! Aren't I supposed to do the reassuring? I guess that's what family is for. I am inspired by his positive attitude.
And so, we rally.
When faced with such an impossible situation where you have no control, your reaction is to immediately try and find control via other avenues. Last year I got involved with the March of Dimes foundation as a way to redirect my focus. Alex and Addison were about 6 months old at the time and a foundation to address prematurity was just what the doctor ordered. Helping other families who are experiencing my same path, that makes me feel in control. So when we started planning for the 2012 March for Babies walk, we decided to go bigger. We marketed to individuals, businesses, and more. We had a fundraising night at a local restaurant (see last post). My step dad Michael even asked everyone on his facebook page to send him $5 and he alone raised over $500 just doing that!
The take away? It feels good to do good. No matter how busy you might be, you always have time to do for other people. Even if it's a simple phone call to lift someones spirit. It's just like the saying goes, "Pay it Forward." By the time our walk came around on April 28th, we raised over $6000!!!! Our team had 25 people show up to walk in support of our cause and in some small way, put a little control back into a situation that at times seems so uncontrollable. What a gift. What an inspiration. Enjoy the pics from that special day. Til next time...M
I thought I would give you an update on Mr. Big (aka, Alex). He has really been thriving since we put him in school back in March. He loves his friends at school and even has a little girlfriend, Jordan! If we just say her name around him he puts on the biggest grin you have ever seen and it just melts your heart. I am so happy he is getting to experience the things that typical children experience every day - he even had school pictures taken a few weeks ago and of course, his were perfect (no bias at all from me). :
 |
| Spring 2012 |
I told you. One area we are working on is his eye sight; we know his vision has limitations but it's hard to zero in on exactly what the limitations are since he cant tell us what he sees/does not see. Funny story for you. We have been patching his eyes for the past 6 months or so in an effort to straighten our his eyes and improve his vision. Went to the opthamologist last week and while she was pleased with his progress thus far, she feels it's time to try a new strategy.
Glasses. REALLY?!!! Glasses on an 18 month old?!!!! That's what I was screaming on the inside all the while politely smiling and nodding as I listened to the details. It's the path we ultimately chose after carefully weighing our options. Can anyone guess the #1 challenge with glasses on an 18 month old? Metal frames - they just don't work. Despite his physical limitations, Alex is a very active little boy. He is constantly participating in therapy, and, when he's in his special chair, his friends at school LOVE to use him as their own personal jungle gym.
So the glasses lady says we need rubber frames. Awesome - that doesn't make him look delayed AT ALL. She hands me the frames and says, "just put them on him and tell me what you think." He's in my arms so I put them on, turn around to look in the mirror, and !VIOLA!, Harry Potter is staring right back at me.
I immediately burst into tears, but not my sweet Alex. He just looked up at me with that big grin of his and right away, HE reassured ME! Aren't I supposed to do the reassuring? I guess that's what family is for. I am inspired by his positive attitude.
And so, we rally.
When faced with such an impossible situation where you have no control, your reaction is to immediately try and find control via other avenues. Last year I got involved with the March of Dimes foundation as a way to redirect my focus. Alex and Addison were about 6 months old at the time and a foundation to address prematurity was just what the doctor ordered. Helping other families who are experiencing my same path, that makes me feel in control. So when we started planning for the 2012 March for Babies walk, we decided to go bigger. We marketed to individuals, businesses, and more. We had a fundraising night at a local restaurant (see last post). My step dad Michael even asked everyone on his facebook page to send him $5 and he alone raised over $500 just doing that!
The take away? It feels good to do good. No matter how busy you might be, you always have time to do for other people. Even if it's a simple phone call to lift someones spirit. It's just like the saying goes, "Pay it Forward." By the time our walk came around on April 28th, we raised over $6000!!!! Our team had 25 people show up to walk in support of our cause and in some small way, put a little control back into a situation that at times seems so uncontrollable. What a gift. What an inspiration. Enjoy the pics from that special day. Til next time...M
 |
| My Family = LOVE |
 |
| Skylar, Mimi, Liz and Karen |
 |
| Skylar and Carol |
 |
| Taylor & Bill |
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
It takes a village...
So it's been one month and one day since my last post and I have to admit, I am mad about it! I distinctly remember admitting here on this blog that all I wanted to do was be a blogger. Well that was the kiss of death because our lives exploded over that period of time and all I had time to do was EVERYTHING ELSE. All kidding aside, there were days where I had every intention of blogging after the kids went down at 8pm, but the next thing I knew, I was drooling on a pillow on the couch while Justin was snoring on his couch. Ahh, this must be the magic of marriage that no one tells you about.
It takes a village.
Such a true statement. Life can be challenging for everyone but we have two factors that make our lives especially challenging in the short term - my travel for work and Addison being in the half day school program at Christ Lutheran. Currently we have 3 different kids in 3 different day care programs with 3 different pickup and drop off times. We desperately need Addison to get transferred to the full day program so that we aren't coordinating daily care for her every afternoon - and it will happen by this summer when the classes rotate for the school year change. Until then, we bribe. Brownies. Doughnuts. I even take Alex in with me when I drop off Avery so he can work his magic (seriously, that kid's smile will melt you like chocolate left in the car on a hot summer day). Shameless, I know. But desperate times call for desperate measures. All of this is manageable until....
TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!!!
So, a couple times a month I hop on a plane and go work my magic for my job, and fortunately its one that I enjoy and am very good at doing. Logistically, it's a nightmare. Here's a quick rundown of this week's coordination while I am gone:
Speaking of paying it forward, one of the things that has kept me busy over the past month has been my fundraising efforts for the March of Dimes walk on April 28th. We have our own family team this year called Alex's hope in an effort to pay it forward and raise money for those less fortunate. We would LOVE if you came out and walked with us that day in support. One of my village members is my step dad Michael (Poppi) and he organized a fundraiser last week at an On The Border restaurant here in Charlotte. They are giving us 10% of the proceeds from the evening towards our team which gets us very close to our goal. www.marchforbabies.org/hilby444 for more information or to make a donation. Here are a few pictures from the night...
It takes a village.
Such a true statement. Life can be challenging for everyone but we have two factors that make our lives especially challenging in the short term - my travel for work and Addison being in the half day school program at Christ Lutheran. Currently we have 3 different kids in 3 different day care programs with 3 different pickup and drop off times. We desperately need Addison to get transferred to the full day program so that we aren't coordinating daily care for her every afternoon - and it will happen by this summer when the classes rotate for the school year change. Until then, we bribe. Brownies. Doughnuts. I even take Alex in with me when I drop off Avery so he can work his magic (seriously, that kid's smile will melt you like chocolate left in the car on a hot summer day). Shameless, I know. But desperate times call for desperate measures. All of this is manageable until....
TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!!!
So, a couple times a month I hop on a plane and go work my magic for my job, and fortunately its one that I enjoy and am very good at doing. Logistically, it's a nightmare. Here's a quick rundown of this week's coordination while I am gone:
- Tuesday - Grandma picks up Alex and keeps him overnight. Our neighbor Katie (aka, an angel) picks up Addison and keeps her until 4. Justin picks up Addison and gets Avery from school.
- Wednesday - Poppi comes over in the morning to help Justin survive, literally. It's life and death in the mornings at our house people! Katie takes and picks up Addison from school AND lets her nap at her house again. Pops (different grandfather) takes Alex to and from school. Justin repeats Tuesday afternoon routine.
- Thursday - are you still reading? That's admirable. Don't worry about Thursday, it will all magically happen and I will get home around 8pm just in time to kiss my babies good night.
Speaking of paying it forward, one of the things that has kept me busy over the past month has been my fundraising efforts for the March of Dimes walk on April 28th. We have our own family team this year called Alex's hope in an effort to pay it forward and raise money for those less fortunate. We would LOVE if you came out and walked with us that day in support. One of my village members is my step dad Michael (Poppi) and he organized a fundraiser last week at an On The Border restaurant here in Charlotte. They are giving us 10% of the proceeds from the evening towards our team which gets us very close to our goal. www.marchforbabies.org/hilby444 for more information or to make a donation. Here are a few pictures from the night...
As human beings we have an incredible ability to adapt and absorb change and challenges. It is what makes us unique. One of my favorite quotes is below:
"Life is what it is, but, it will be what you make it."
Sure is easier to "make it" with my village...Til next time...M
Friday, March 16, 2012
The 10 truths as I know them...
The past two weeks have flown by since the last post - not surprising considering the pace at which life moves for a person in my stage of life. Can I get an Amen from my fellow mommies balancing laundry, dishes, kids, bills, and more all before we even start work at 8am!!! I have to say however that it has been a good March and I have gained some wisdom and landed on a few truths worth sharing with the readers.
So, the moment you have all been waiting for...
THE TEN TRUTHS ACCORDING TO ME!!!
1) Girl Scout Cookies are dangerous. Seriously. And I don't mean dangerous like that green bean my daughter left on the floor for me to step on and potentially roll my ankle. I mean dangerous like pringles, cause once you pop, you absolutely cannot stop! I order a few boxes every year and tell myself I am doing good for the community, it's a fundraiser after all. Let's face reality folks - it's purely selfish. During the phase of my life that I call BC (Before Children and the wicked sweet tooth that developed during pregnancy), I used to savor each individual cookie only taking one bite at a time so that one cookie would last me an entire day. What a waste. Perspective has taught me that there is nothing wrong with sitting down with a good sleeve of Do-si-dos and making it count. So here's to next year's cookie batch - the sun has already set on our supply.
3) Bright pink nails really do make you happier. It's true, trust me. Gotta love the first manicure of the season.
2) Alex survived his first week at daycare! It was touch and go there for a while (for me, not him). I never allowed myself to call and check on him because I knew it would be the kiss of death if I heard him crying. I would have driven straight to that school, sprinted to his room while pushing little kids out of the way, and swooped in like a seagull catching a fish in the ocean. I have never been so productive at work as I was that first day I dropped my sweet Alex off at school to be cared for by a complete stranger (nose to the grindstone makes the time go by faster than nervously watching the clock while you bite off your beautifully manicured fingernails). At the end of the week he came home with his first piece of artwork - I was a puddle. Note that his teachers call him "The Great Alex Elliott" - love, love, love that.
4) Chemotherapy sucks. Also true, trust me. I lived the first 31 years of my life blissfully unaware of all the horrible things that other people went through in their lives and unaware of just how lucky my family was. Now that it's happening to me and my family, it really sucks. Cancer is the diagnosis but the treatment is one of the hardest parts and I hate seeing the people I love in pain, physical or emotional. I want nothing more than to take the pain away, but I can't. So, this is me giving a BIG shout out of support to two of the strongest ladies I know, Mary Brown and Beth Caracciolo. You are role models we should all strive to emulate.
5) I married Jay Pritchett from Modern Family. First of all, if you don't watch Modern Family, you should run - don't walk - to your computer and download it from itunes. Watching an episode last week, it dawned on Justin and I that he is Jay. He likes to keep things as simple as possible and not unnecessarily complicate matters with silly things like "talking." He's got amazing one-liners, also like Jay. He loves his family first and foremost and he will do anything for them. And most importantly, he married up (hehehe). Google Gloria Pritchett if you have no idea who I am talking about.
6) Amazon Prime is so worth it. Do yourself a favor and spend $79/year on an Amazon Prime subscription. Anything in the world (almost) you might want, delivered to your door in 48 hours or less - FOR FREE! We did 98% of our Christmas shopping on Amazon due to this subscription (we don't dare take 3 kids into a store at the same time). When the twins first came home, we bought formula, diapers, anything you might need to keep two babies at the same time happy, all with our Amazon Prime account. We pulled an order report for 2011 and we placed 76 orders in one year - that's getting it done!!! And we paid zero dollars in shipping. Love.
Speaking of two babies at the same time, my favorite picture of the twins of all time...
7) Mommy Support groups are good for me. I recently was invited to join a group of about 10 mom's on their monthly outings. The unique thing about this mommy group? Every member has a child with Cerebral Palsy. I am going to my first outing next Friday at Maggianos and I am excited - no kiddos and a glass of wine, perfect! More importantly, I am excited about being with a group who understands. I have so many mommy friends of typical children and I am thankful for each and everyone of them and the constant support and love they give me on a daily basis. I am also thankful that they don't have to walk the path I am walking, it will be nice to bounce ideas off ladies who have walked the path before me.
8) My family is wonderful and would do anything for me. Not a new revelation but one that is weighing heavily on my mind lately. I have a circle of supporters who want the best for me and my kids and would do anything to help me achieve my goals. My mother in law Mary (Mimi) is wonderful and thinks the world of Alex. Horse therapy is a common treatment for children with Alex's challenges and Mimi just happens to live on a farm - with horses. Lucky me. Lucky Alex.
9) I love Japanese steakhouses. It's true, always have. I love the oohs and ahhs and fire and my own personal dipping sauces. I am going Saturday with Justin, Avery, and our BFF's Karen, Mark and their children Will and Tate. I can't wait to see the kiddos freak out when that crazy chef flips a shrimp in his hat! I hope he tries to flip one in my mouth! :)
10) March just might be the best month of the year. If you don't live in the South and are reading this blog, I hate if for you cause the weather here is awesome. I just happened to plan things so that my maternity leave with Avery fell during the month of March - nothing like a paid month off with a kid who loves to sleep during 70 degree weather. Also, people are just happier in March. And, the inaugural Mani/Pedi of the season usually happens in March. Last, but certainly not least, March Madness - I love college basketball with every fiber of my being. It's like the delicious special occasion dinner you have waited for all year that sets up the perfect dessert. What's that dessert you ask? Why, the Masters of course. Hello April...
Til next time...M
So, the moment you have all been waiting for...
THE TEN TRUTHS ACCORDING TO ME!!!
1) Girl Scout Cookies are dangerous. Seriously. And I don't mean dangerous like that green bean my daughter left on the floor for me to step on and potentially roll my ankle. I mean dangerous like pringles, cause once you pop, you absolutely cannot stop! I order a few boxes every year and tell myself I am doing good for the community, it's a fundraiser after all. Let's face reality folks - it's purely selfish. During the phase of my life that I call BC (Before Children and the wicked sweet tooth that developed during pregnancy), I used to savor each individual cookie only taking one bite at a time so that one cookie would last me an entire day. What a waste. Perspective has taught me that there is nothing wrong with sitting down with a good sleeve of Do-si-dos and making it count. So here's to next year's cookie batch - the sun has already set on our supply.
3) Bright pink nails really do make you happier. It's true, trust me. Gotta love the first manicure of the season.
2) Alex survived his first week at daycare! It was touch and go there for a while (for me, not him). I never allowed myself to call and check on him because I knew it would be the kiss of death if I heard him crying. I would have driven straight to that school, sprinted to his room while pushing little kids out of the way, and swooped in like a seagull catching a fish in the ocean. I have never been so productive at work as I was that first day I dropped my sweet Alex off at school to be cared for by a complete stranger (nose to the grindstone makes the time go by faster than nervously watching the clock while you bite off your beautifully manicured fingernails). At the end of the week he came home with his first piece of artwork - I was a puddle. Note that his teachers call him "The Great Alex Elliott" - love, love, love that.
4) Chemotherapy sucks. Also true, trust me. I lived the first 31 years of my life blissfully unaware of all the horrible things that other people went through in their lives and unaware of just how lucky my family was. Now that it's happening to me and my family, it really sucks. Cancer is the diagnosis but the treatment is one of the hardest parts and I hate seeing the people I love in pain, physical or emotional. I want nothing more than to take the pain away, but I can't. So, this is me giving a BIG shout out of support to two of the strongest ladies I know, Mary Brown and Beth Caracciolo. You are role models we should all strive to emulate.
5) I married Jay Pritchett from Modern Family. First of all, if you don't watch Modern Family, you should run - don't walk - to your computer and download it from itunes. Watching an episode last week, it dawned on Justin and I that he is Jay. He likes to keep things as simple as possible and not unnecessarily complicate matters with silly things like "talking." He's got amazing one-liners, also like Jay. He loves his family first and foremost and he will do anything for them. And most importantly, he married up (hehehe). Google Gloria Pritchett if you have no idea who I am talking about.
6) Amazon Prime is so worth it. Do yourself a favor and spend $79/year on an Amazon Prime subscription. Anything in the world (almost) you might want, delivered to your door in 48 hours or less - FOR FREE! We did 98% of our Christmas shopping on Amazon due to this subscription (we don't dare take 3 kids into a store at the same time). When the twins first came home, we bought formula, diapers, anything you might need to keep two babies at the same time happy, all with our Amazon Prime account. We pulled an order report for 2011 and we placed 76 orders in one year - that's getting it done!!! And we paid zero dollars in shipping. Love.
Speaking of two babies at the same time, my favorite picture of the twins of all time...
 |
| 6 weeks old, Thanksgiving week 2010 |
8) My family is wonderful and would do anything for me. Not a new revelation but one that is weighing heavily on my mind lately. I have a circle of supporters who want the best for me and my kids and would do anything to help me achieve my goals. My mother in law Mary (Mimi) is wonderful and thinks the world of Alex. Horse therapy is a common treatment for children with Alex's challenges and Mimi just happens to live on a farm - with horses. Lucky me. Lucky Alex.
10) March just might be the best month of the year. If you don't live in the South and are reading this blog, I hate if for you cause the weather here is awesome. I just happened to plan things so that my maternity leave with Avery fell during the month of March - nothing like a paid month off with a kid who loves to sleep during 70 degree weather. Also, people are just happier in March. And, the inaugural Mani/Pedi of the season usually happens in March. Last, but certainly not least, March Madness - I love college basketball with every fiber of my being. It's like the delicious special occasion dinner you have waited for all year that sets up the perfect dessert. What's that dessert you ask? Why, the Masters of course. Hello April...
Til next time...M
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A positive change...
If I had my choice, I would sit around and blog all day. I enjoy writing, more than I honestly expected I would. I have always said, "I am a math/science girl." I am starting to think that perhaps I am a closet writer with math/science tendencies - really, the perfect package! Alas, my busy life prevents me from updating this blog as much as I would like so I will try and make each entry count!
Over the past year and a half there is one thing that I have learned to cherish - stability. When I have a day, or heck even an afternoon where things are smooth and stable, it's a breath of fresh air! We have known nothing but change over that period of time and I have learned perspective that not all change is bad. In fact some of it can be very good - just depends on your perspective. An example of stability that I love - each and every year for Valentines day, my dad sends me a box of Whitman's sampler's chocolates in the mail. And I know every year that taped inside is a small white card with a simple note - "Happy Valentines Day Meredith, Love, Daddy." You have no idea how much I look forward to that simple note each year - so much so that they are taped on the side of my refrigerator. Thanks Daddy.
We had a big change in our lives last Friday that depending on your perspective, could be seen as bad or good - we enrolled Alex into daycare. For the past 16 months our mom's have split the week and watched Alex and Addison here at the house. Addison started a half day program at Avery's day care in January and has been thriving, but we just weren't ready to start Alex at that time. But, as circumstances have changed and as my mom gets ready to start chemo (on the heels of Justin's mom wrapping up chemo no less), it was time to make another change.
The challenge? Alex's special needs.
I have been hesitant to share the details of Alex's challenges in the past unless it was with close family and friends. I initially thought that I was protecting Alex but I think the only person I was protecting was myself. Hearing bad news and negativity is hard, and my life has been hard lately. However, in my effort to have support only from those closest to me, I have eliminated the opportunity for others to grow an appreciation for Alex and who he is - a happy, smiling, curious little boy who has a lot to give. And from whom we all have the opportunity to become better people.
Perspective.
I think it's important to know that the day Alex was born, he was a typically developing child with no disabilities (that's the terminology used in the medical field - typically developing versus developmentally delayed). On October 21, 2010, I had 3 typical children - Alex, Addison, and Avery. Alex, however, had a tumor in his kidney the size of my fist and he only weighed 4 pounds. In the end, after he crashed post surgery to remove the tumor, he had a brain injury. And that's how we got where we are today. A perfect, loving little boy who has been dealt a short stick - and we have to make the tough choices to better his life.
Whew, a lot to take in. Remember my advice from the last blog entry, never ask the larger global question of, "Why?" You will go nowhere fast and my husband and children need the best they can get from me. There are better ways to spend your time and your brain cells.
So, back to daycare. We decided to put Alex in a different school than Addison and Avery which goes against everything I stand for - I firmly believe that we should treat Alex as we would treat the girls. When the girls nap, he naps. When the girls eat, he eats. But there are times when treating the same doesn't mean being identical in your treatment. His school, Easter Seals UCP, is equipped to handle delayed children and specifically Alex's delays. He can't sit up unassisted and he struggles to eat with a spoon. Easter Seals however has therapists on site, they have a pureed diet on the menu, and most importantly, they have typical children in each class room - the ratio is 6 typical to 4 delayed - I LOVE THAT!!! On my first visit to the school I was there during playground time and there was a child using a walker who was struggling to get up a hill. My instinct was to go help him but before I could, his classmate, a typical child, ran over and starting pushing him from behind like they were drafting in a NASCAR race - it was beautiful. That's what I want for Alex.
And more importantly, that's what I want for those typical children he will encounter at his school. That's what I want for every person reading this blog. That's what I want for all of your children. I want you to know that being different can mean a lot of things. It can mean you have freckles. Or you have a lisp. Or you use a wheelchair. But at the end of the day, we are all the same in all the ways that matter.
Oh yes, change is good. I walked out of that school Friday morning with a smile on my face and with the weight of 16 months being lifted off my shoulders. They have no idea who just hit em.
Over the past year and a half there is one thing that I have learned to cherish - stability. When I have a day, or heck even an afternoon where things are smooth and stable, it's a breath of fresh air! We have known nothing but change over that period of time and I have learned perspective that not all change is bad. In fact some of it can be very good - just depends on your perspective. An example of stability that I love - each and every year for Valentines day, my dad sends me a box of Whitman's sampler's chocolates in the mail. And I know every year that taped inside is a small white card with a simple note - "Happy Valentines Day Meredith, Love, Daddy." You have no idea how much I look forward to that simple note each year - so much so that they are taped on the side of my refrigerator. Thanks Daddy.
We had a big change in our lives last Friday that depending on your perspective, could be seen as bad or good - we enrolled Alex into daycare. For the past 16 months our mom's have split the week and watched Alex and Addison here at the house. Addison started a half day program at Avery's day care in January and has been thriving, but we just weren't ready to start Alex at that time. But, as circumstances have changed and as my mom gets ready to start chemo (on the heels of Justin's mom wrapping up chemo no less), it was time to make another change.
The challenge? Alex's special needs.
I have been hesitant to share the details of Alex's challenges in the past unless it was with close family and friends. I initially thought that I was protecting Alex but I think the only person I was protecting was myself. Hearing bad news and negativity is hard, and my life has been hard lately. However, in my effort to have support only from those closest to me, I have eliminated the opportunity for others to grow an appreciation for Alex and who he is - a happy, smiling, curious little boy who has a lot to give. And from whom we all have the opportunity to become better people.
Perspective.
I think it's important to know that the day Alex was born, he was a typically developing child with no disabilities (that's the terminology used in the medical field - typically developing versus developmentally delayed). On October 21, 2010, I had 3 typical children - Alex, Addison, and Avery. Alex, however, had a tumor in his kidney the size of my fist and he only weighed 4 pounds. In the end, after he crashed post surgery to remove the tumor, he had a brain injury. And that's how we got where we are today. A perfect, loving little boy who has been dealt a short stick - and we have to make the tough choices to better his life.
Whew, a lot to take in. Remember my advice from the last blog entry, never ask the larger global question of, "Why?" You will go nowhere fast and my husband and children need the best they can get from me. There are better ways to spend your time and your brain cells.
So, back to daycare. We decided to put Alex in a different school than Addison and Avery which goes against everything I stand for - I firmly believe that we should treat Alex as we would treat the girls. When the girls nap, he naps. When the girls eat, he eats. But there are times when treating the same doesn't mean being identical in your treatment. His school, Easter Seals UCP, is equipped to handle delayed children and specifically Alex's delays. He can't sit up unassisted and he struggles to eat with a spoon. Easter Seals however has therapists on site, they have a pureed diet on the menu, and most importantly, they have typical children in each class room - the ratio is 6 typical to 4 delayed - I LOVE THAT!!! On my first visit to the school I was there during playground time and there was a child using a walker who was struggling to get up a hill. My instinct was to go help him but before I could, his classmate, a typical child, ran over and starting pushing him from behind like they were drafting in a NASCAR race - it was beautiful. That's what I want for Alex.
And more importantly, that's what I want for those typical children he will encounter at his school. That's what I want for every person reading this blog. That's what I want for all of your children. I want you to know that being different can mean a lot of things. It can mean you have freckles. Or you have a lisp. Or you use a wheelchair. But at the end of the day, we are all the same in all the ways that matter.
Oh yes, change is good. I walked out of that school Friday morning with a smile on my face and with the weight of 16 months being lifted off my shoulders. They have no idea who just hit em.
 |
| Alex and his Daddy |
 |
| Avery and Addison at Avery's 3rd birthday party! |
Til next time...M
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Nostalgia...
I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up with two parents who loved me very much - I know that not all people have that gift. Despite the fact that they divorced when I was 4, I was always surrounded by their love and it was an example that I use in my daily life with my own children. You will learn as the posts go on that I am very close with my mom Beth and my dad Tommy (aka, Mama and Daddy - and yes, it's ok that I still call them this despite the fact that I am old).
But this week, it's my mom that is on my mind. I find myself reminiscing about memories we have made over the years and I am the last person who has time to sit down and think - the tornado of my life might sweep me away if I am not careful! You ever have one of those days/weeks where everything seems to be pointing to a big blaring neon sign?
Well this week, that sign is my Mama.
It started off with Whitney. You all know who I am talking about and everyone has their own opinions about her during life and now in her death. For me however, Whitney is fond memories. It makes me think of the 80's and I am a BIG fan of the 80's. I love the big hair, the big colors, and the big music. During my 80's, I grew up in an apartment off Providence road until I was 7 with my mom and my sister Audra. We laughed and had dance parties in the living room. We listened to Whitney, Lionel Richie, and Anita Baker and it was all good. My sister rocked a serious bowl cut with a rat tail and it was cool. Oh yes, for me, Whitney is good memories and thinking of those days puts a smile on my face.
Later this week, we moved my daughter Avery to a big girl bed for her 3rd birthday. I can hardly believe it's time and part of me was sad - she is no longer a baby! As we moved the crib out and moved the twin bed in, I realized, I haven't lived in a house with a twin bed since I was a kid. They are so tiny but to Avery, it's the biggest thing in the world! In that condo off Providence road I shared a room with Audra and we had two twin beds. We fought like cats and dogs at times and the punishment was always to sit in our room together until we worked it out - the horror! I have to be in the same room with her? Gasp! It's also the room where we wrestled and played so hard that she rolled off the bed and knocked a hole in the wall with her head - sorry Mama! As I sat by myself in Avery's room today after her twin bed was all set up, I was reflective. What an extraordinary mom I had to deal with us girls every day, what an example to set for us. For that I am thankful.
Finally, Mama had surgery on Monday - she has breast cancer. We found out a few weeks ago during a routine well check (this is me reminding all the people I love out there to get routine well checks, they just might save your life). It's tough to see someone you love hurting and going through pain, especially one where the outcome is unknown. How is it fair that this strong woman who turned me into such a good person should be burdened with this terrible disease? Why my mama? I have learned over the past year and a half that asking why gets you no where but more confused than when you started. You have to put on your big girl panties and move forward focusing on one day at a time (and at the same time, allow yourself a pity party every once in a while - it's good for your soul). So, that's what I choose to do. And that's what Mama will do, because, she is strong and she knows it.
A few pictures for your laughing enjoyment...
There's nothing wrong with being nostalgic about memories and you never know when it will hit you. Some memories and days are stronger than others but it's that good feeling you get in your stomach that makes it worth the time to stop and smell the roses. So rock on with your bad self Whitney, I wanna dance with somebody too, and this time around it's gonna be my two daughters...
Til next time...M
But this week, it's my mom that is on my mind. I find myself reminiscing about memories we have made over the years and I am the last person who has time to sit down and think - the tornado of my life might sweep me away if I am not careful! You ever have one of those days/weeks where everything seems to be pointing to a big blaring neon sign?
Well this week, that sign is my Mama.
It started off with Whitney. You all know who I am talking about and everyone has their own opinions about her during life and now in her death. For me however, Whitney is fond memories. It makes me think of the 80's and I am a BIG fan of the 80's. I love the big hair, the big colors, and the big music. During my 80's, I grew up in an apartment off Providence road until I was 7 with my mom and my sister Audra. We laughed and had dance parties in the living room. We listened to Whitney, Lionel Richie, and Anita Baker and it was all good. My sister rocked a serious bowl cut with a rat tail and it was cool. Oh yes, for me, Whitney is good memories and thinking of those days puts a smile on my face.
Later this week, we moved my daughter Avery to a big girl bed for her 3rd birthday. I can hardly believe it's time and part of me was sad - she is no longer a baby! As we moved the crib out and moved the twin bed in, I realized, I haven't lived in a house with a twin bed since I was a kid. They are so tiny but to Avery, it's the biggest thing in the world! In that condo off Providence road I shared a room with Audra and we had two twin beds. We fought like cats and dogs at times and the punishment was always to sit in our room together until we worked it out - the horror! I have to be in the same room with her? Gasp! It's also the room where we wrestled and played so hard that she rolled off the bed and knocked a hole in the wall with her head - sorry Mama! As I sat by myself in Avery's room today after her twin bed was all set up, I was reflective. What an extraordinary mom I had to deal with us girls every day, what an example to set for us. For that I am thankful.
Finally, Mama had surgery on Monday - she has breast cancer. We found out a few weeks ago during a routine well check (this is me reminding all the people I love out there to get routine well checks, they just might save your life). It's tough to see someone you love hurting and going through pain, especially one where the outcome is unknown. How is it fair that this strong woman who turned me into such a good person should be burdened with this terrible disease? Why my mama? I have learned over the past year and a half that asking why gets you no where but more confused than when you started. You have to put on your big girl panties and move forward focusing on one day at a time (and at the same time, allow yourself a pity party every once in a while - it's good for your soul). So, that's what I choose to do. And that's what Mama will do, because, she is strong and she knows it.
A few pictures for your laughing enjoyment...
 |
| Clearly this was a "character building" moment |
 |
| Big hair baby |
 |
| In front of our apartment on Providence Road |
 |
| Lovely Ladies!!! |
Til next time...M
Friday, February 10, 2012
Humor and the details...
You probably gathered from my inaugural blog post that I deal with problems with humor - it's a coping mechanism. And it works - trust me. In my world, when the going gets tough, I lean on 3 things - family, faith, and humor.
There have been days that I would like to forget. And I am not talking about the day my coffee spilled in the car, or the day in January when I backed into a mercedes sports car with my big ol' SUV (I won). Those were bad days, but all things that are fleeting and pass as quickly as a breeze. I am talking about the day I found out about Alex and his brain injury - that was a bad day. Never in my life have tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as they did that day when I held my precious baby boy in my arms knowing his future would be forever changed. (Did you hear that? It was the sound of me swallowing the huge knot in my throat, although the knot is getting smaller with each passing day). So how can a person be expected to cope with issues like that?
Today we focus on humor.
So Justin and I decided to have family photos taken last Fall with the intention of using them as gifts for Christmas. Let me help you read between the lines - I decided and Justin went along with the plan - he knows it's true. I am a smidge of a control freak (no snickering people!) and so I started planning - the location, the time of day, the color coordinated outfits. Heck, my mom even pressed Alex's onesie for the picture, now that's dedication! We were ready for the family photo of the century!
It went about as well as can be expected. After about 217 photos, 3 screaming kids, one child who wouldn't stop pulling her dress down, and a guest appearance by my niece Hayden (adorable that one!), we were done! When we get home we excitedly pull up the photos and start flipping through with the intention of pulling out the BEST EVER family photo to be used as our family Christmas card. I am here to tell you that there were none - not a single good photo where all 5 of us pulled it together for the benefit of family memories. Zero. Zilch. Not that the photographer didnt give it his best, he was a machine - pretty sure I saw him standing on his head at one point in time trying to make the kiddos laugh (thanks Dave).
Crushed. That was the only word I could use to describe how I was feeling. We failed! Now no one will think we are this perfectly pulled together family that runs through fields of flowers on Saturday and eats everything organic. What to do?!
And then it hit me - that's not our family. We are loud, hectic, bees swarming around our hive trying to survive on a daily basis and yet somehow we find a way to laugh and love every little thing about each other (ok, I could do without the whining of a 3 year old but it comes with the territory). So we figured, why hide it? Take a look at our Christmas card below:
That's the point of the story folks. Dont get so caught up in the details that you forget to take a moment and laugh because it truly is the best medicine. And I highly encourage it for those out there who are dealing with their own wounds that need healing.
Til next time...M
There have been days that I would like to forget. And I am not talking about the day my coffee spilled in the car, or the day in January when I backed into a mercedes sports car with my big ol' SUV (I won). Those were bad days, but all things that are fleeting and pass as quickly as a breeze. I am talking about the day I found out about Alex and his brain injury - that was a bad day. Never in my life have tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as they did that day when I held my precious baby boy in my arms knowing his future would be forever changed. (Did you hear that? It was the sound of me swallowing the huge knot in my throat, although the knot is getting smaller with each passing day). So how can a person be expected to cope with issues like that?
Today we focus on humor.
So Justin and I decided to have family photos taken last Fall with the intention of using them as gifts for Christmas. Let me help you read between the lines - I decided and Justin went along with the plan - he knows it's true. I am a smidge of a control freak (no snickering people!) and so I started planning - the location, the time of day, the color coordinated outfits. Heck, my mom even pressed Alex's onesie for the picture, now that's dedication! We were ready for the family photo of the century!
It went about as well as can be expected. After about 217 photos, 3 screaming kids, one child who wouldn't stop pulling her dress down, and a guest appearance by my niece Hayden (adorable that one!), we were done! When we get home we excitedly pull up the photos and start flipping through with the intention of pulling out the BEST EVER family photo to be used as our family Christmas card. I am here to tell you that there were none - not a single good photo where all 5 of us pulled it together for the benefit of family memories. Zero. Zilch. Not that the photographer didnt give it his best, he was a machine - pretty sure I saw him standing on his head at one point in time trying to make the kiddos laugh (thanks Dave).
Crushed. That was the only word I could use to describe how I was feeling. We failed! Now no one will think we are this perfectly pulled together family that runs through fields of flowers on Saturday and eats everything organic. What to do?!
And then it hit me - that's not our family. We are loud, hectic, bees swarming around our hive trying to survive on a daily basis and yet somehow we find a way to laugh and love every little thing about each other (ok, I could do without the whining of a 3 year old but it comes with the territory). So we figured, why hide it? Take a look at our Christmas card below:
That's the point of the story folks. Dont get so caught up in the details that you forget to take a moment and laugh because it truly is the best medicine. And I highly encourage it for those out there who are dealing with their own wounds that need healing.
Til next time...M
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)