Nostalgia...

I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up with two parents who loved me very much - I know that not all people have that gift.  Despite the fact that they divorced when I was 4, I was always surrounded by their love and it was an example that I use in my daily life with my own children.  You will learn as the posts go on that I am very close with my mom Beth and my dad Tommy (aka, Mama and Daddy - and yes, it's ok that I still call them this despite the fact that I am old). 

But this week, it's my mom that is on my mind.  I find myself reminiscing about memories we have made over the years and I am the last person who has time to sit down and think - the tornado of my life might sweep me away if I am not careful!  You ever have one of those days/weeks where everything seems to be pointing to a big blaring neon sign? 

Well this week, that sign is my Mama. 

It started off with Whitney.  You all know who I am talking about and everyone has their own opinions about her during life and now in her death.  For me however, Whitney is fond memories.  It makes me think of the 80's and I am a BIG fan of the 80's.  I love the big hair, the big colors, and the big music.  During my 80's, I grew up in an apartment off Providence road until I was 7 with my mom and my sister Audra.  We laughed and had dance parties in the living room.  We listened to Whitney, Lionel Richie, and Anita Baker and it was all good.  My sister rocked a serious bowl cut with a rat tail and it was cool.  Oh yes, for me, Whitney is good memories and thinking of those days puts a smile on my face.

Later this week, we moved my daughter Avery to a big girl bed for her 3rd birthday.  I can hardly believe it's time and part of me was sad - she is no longer a baby!  As we moved the crib out and moved the twin bed in, I realized, I haven't lived in a house with a twin bed since I was a kid.  They are so tiny but to Avery, it's the biggest thing in the world!  In that condo off Providence road I shared a room with Audra and we had two twin beds.  We fought like cats and dogs at times and the punishment was always to sit in our room together until we worked it out - the horror!  I have to be in the same room with her?  Gasp!  It's also the room where we wrestled and played so hard that she rolled off the bed and knocked a hole in the wall with her head - sorry Mama!  As I sat by myself in Avery's room today after her twin bed was all set up, I was reflective.  What an extraordinary mom I had to deal with us girls every day, what an example to set for us.  For that I am thankful.

Finally, Mama had surgery on Monday - she has breast cancer.  We found out a few weeks ago during a routine well check (this is me reminding all the people I love out there to get routine well checks, they just might save your life).  It's tough to see someone you love hurting and going through pain, especially one where the outcome is unknown.  How is it fair that this strong woman who turned me into such a good person should be burdened with this terrible disease?  Why my mama?  I have learned over the past year and a half that asking why gets you no where but more confused than when you started.  You have to put on your big girl panties and move forward focusing on one day at a time (and at the same time, allow yourself a pity party every once in a while - it's good for your soul).  So, that's what I choose to do.  And that's what Mama will do, because, she is strong and she knows it. 

A few pictures for your laughing enjoyment...


Clearly this was a "character building" moment



Big hair baby



In front of our apartment on Providence Road

Lovely Ladies!!!

 There's nothing wrong with being nostalgic about memories and you never know when it will hit you.  Some memories and days are stronger than others but it's that good feeling you get in your stomach that makes it worth the time to stop and smell the roses.  So rock on with your bad self Whitney, I wanna dance with somebody too, and this time around it's gonna be my two daughters...

Til next time...M

Humor and the details...

You probably gathered from my inaugural blog post that I deal with problems with humor - it's a coping mechanism.  And it works - trust me.  In my world, when the going gets tough, I lean on 3 things - family, faith, and humor.

There have been days that I would like to forget.  And I am not talking about the day my coffee spilled in the car, or the day in January when I backed into a mercedes sports car with my big ol' SUV (I won).  Those were bad days, but all things that are fleeting and pass as quickly as a breeze.  I am talking about the day I found out about Alex and his brain injury - that was a bad day.  Never in my life have tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as they did that day when I held my precious baby boy in my arms knowing his future would be forever changed.  (Did you hear that? It was the sound of me swallowing the huge knot in my throat, although the knot is getting smaller with each passing day).  So how can a person be expected to cope with issues like that? 

Today we focus on humor.

So Justin and I decided to have family photos taken last Fall with the intention of using them as gifts for Christmas.  Let me help you read between the lines - I decided and Justin went along with the plan - he knows it's true.  I am a smidge of a control freak (no snickering people!) and so I started planning - the location, the time of day, the color coordinated outfits.  Heck, my mom even pressed Alex's onesie for the picture, now that's dedication!  We were ready for the family photo of the century!

It went about as well as can be expected.  After about 217 photos, 3 screaming kids, one child who wouldn't stop pulling her dress down, and a guest appearance by my niece Hayden (adorable that one!), we were done!  When we get home we excitedly pull up the photos and start flipping through with the intention of pulling out the BEST EVER family photo to be used as our family Christmas card.  I am here to tell you that there were none - not a single good photo where all 5 of us pulled it together for the benefit of family memories.  Zero. Zilch.  Not that the photographer didnt give it his best, he was a machine - pretty sure I saw him standing on his head at one point in time trying to make the kiddos laugh (thanks Dave). 

Crushed.  That was the only word I could use to describe how I was feeling.  We failed!  Now no one will think we are this perfectly pulled together family that runs through fields of flowers on Saturday and eats everything organic.  What to do?! 

And then it hit me - that's not our family.  We are loud, hectic, bees swarming around our hive trying to survive on a daily basis and yet somehow we find a way to laugh and love every little thing about each other (ok, I could do without the whining of a 3 year old but it comes with the territory).  So we figured, why hide it?  Take a look at our Christmas card below:

That's the point of the story folks.  Dont get so caught up in the details that you forget to take a moment and laugh because it truly is the best medicine.  And I highly encourage it for those out there who are dealing with their own wounds that need healing.

Til next time...M

What's in a title?

So I knew I wanted to start a blog.  I have been thinking about it for months and over the past few weeks the thoughts have been keeping me up at night.  "I have good things to say!"  "People would really enjoy my thoughts!"  Blah blah blah.  Then I went through a phase where I was concerned that no one would read it - what a let down that would be - an unsuccessful blog!  But really, what is success?  If writing down my thoughts and feelings makes me feel better then that's a huge success in my book.  And I feel better already, sooooooo, I guess it's a SUCCESS!!!

For those that know me well, technology has not traditionally been my strong suit.  So, I did a quick wikipedia search on how to create a blog and low and behold there was a blog creator within google (they really have thought of everything).  Ready to begin my typing and put thoughts down on paper, I start the process and quickly get to question #2 - "What is the title of your blog?"

Well in all my thoughts and dreams about this endeavor, a title never even crossed my mind.  I want people to learn things about me that they might not know.  I want to be a positive source of encouragement and humor for other people like me who have way too much on their plate because as my dad always says, "It's your time to tow the wagon."  So true.  And my wagon is big. And I am pretty sure it has a flat tire half the time.  But it's still rolling!

So, I landed on The Balancing Bird because my daily life consists of flying in to situations, pausing to absorb and design a plan of attack, and then flying out (hopefully with grace) and executing said plan.  The balancing part, well see for yourself:

                                                         Self Portrait - February 2012

Sales Manager for a large broker dealer - Did you know I fly to exotic places in the Midwest 5 days a month?  Love this picture, although, in my reality, substitute the babies for a person who thinks we all want to smell their philly cheesesteak they brought onto the plane for dinner. 

Mother to three wonderful children - Avery, 3 years, and Addison and Alex, 15 month old twins.  Did you know that Alex is special needs and developmentally delayed?  One of the main motivating factors for me to write this blog was that I found out a month ago that my aunt didn't either, my own family!  It's time for me to start sharing his story and the positive effect he is having on our lives.

The hubs, Justin.  Also, creator of the phrase "Focus on today and what we know we can control."  Without that advice and him, not sure I would still have humor.

So, hopefully you learned something about me and will come back for more.  Pretty sure you just have to "follow" me and if that's not how it works, just let me live in blind bliss - feeling pretty good about my technology accomplishments thus far!

M